returning to my long lost first love

I stopped playing my trumpet after putting my braces on in early August last year. That was also the time my 'backslide' started and I stopped attending church since then... And then gradually, cell group too...

I tried picking up my trumpet again but each time I put it down after a few tries, out of frustration. All those years, close to a decade of hard work, gone to the drain cos of the change of the shape of my mouth. The only way was to start from the beginning all over again, with the shape of my lips, breathing exercises, the fundamental basics.

Thus, I took the opportunity to learn a second instrument, the piano... However, the frustrations with the trumpet never went away. I once was good enough to play sonatas and concertos and now, it was all gone...

And i think in a similar way, all the disappointments I've had with God that had been bottled up over the years couldn't be kept in any more and it overflowed uncontrollably into confusion and anger. "Why put me in this school, which i love, yet where I can't handle the stress?" "Why do I feel so lost and w/o a family since csl left?" "how can i possibly receive the messages in the sermon when my mind can't be cleared off all these questions?"

And thus, I escaped for 8 months from the church. But throughout these 8 months, God remained faithful to me, even though i felt as if my mind and body were in constant degradation.

By the end of these 8 months, I have no idea what kinda Lim Yufan have I become... One of no worth to the ppl around him? of no worth to the society?

But my questions were answered on Good Friday. The night before, I picked up my trumpet, and I could play a proper C major scale and even hit the the D note smoothly, a major improvement since the last 8 months, considering how little i practised...

And on Good Friday, I lead the games for our party and it all went well and everyone had fun! God showed me that he is willing to use anybody, no matter in what state of body or mind, to do His work as long as he is willing.

And that was my first step of my journey and getting to know God all over again.

yf