how terry’s affair could have screwed the entire England team, and even more…

All those who have been keeping up with sports would have known about John Terry’s affair with Wayne Bridge’s ex-girlfriend.

While watching the England match against Egypt a few days back, I told mattpan about how this scandal can snowball into a something so big that nobody could have ever imagined, like the fall of the United Kingdom or sth like that haha. You would think that only Bridge and Terry would be affected by it all? I don’t think so…

You see, this was the starting XI that night: Green, Baines, Terry, Upson, Brown, Gerrard, Lampard, Barry, Walcott, Rooney and Defoe.

All except for Defoe were affected by Terry’s sexcapade. And these would be the thoughts of the rest.

Green: My legs are gonna go soft whenever JT passes the ball back to me, cos I know that he definitely ain’t thinking about the game. SHucks, he may even be thinking about my wife!

Leighton Baines: Hey, i’m here just by a string of accidents! Ashley Cole is out settling his divorce, and Bridge is too ashamed to be here, so Capello is making me clear up this mess at the cursed left back role. Heck, I better tell Terry to keep away from my girlfriend.

Terry: I had intended to complete a England WAGs XI but was caught at my first attempt on Bridge’s gf… Shucks man…

Upson: I’m another one here only by chance!! Now that I’m at Wembley, I have no idea what my wife/gf is doing!! I bet Rio is back at home making sure his gf is not up to anything with those Chelsea dudes.

Brown: (mind at blank)

Gerrard: Now that I’m captain for this match, I better make sure that whenever the ref blows for a foul, I run to the him before JT does, so that he does not trample on my authority. I am captain!!

Lampard: JT’s not only my good friend, but I love him very much too. I’m really sad to see him so down… That’s why I missed two sitters in the first half, because I was in no mood to celebrate.

Barry: Team Bridge all the way!!

Walcott: I’m the youngest and most easily influenced. I adore JT acty, and one day, I think I might s*rew Fabregas’ gf.

Rooney: F88k!!! What more must I do to be the captain of England? I must get Gerrard and Rio into some adult club and intoxicate them. Then take some of their pictures and publish it on the tabloids.

And so, most of the team were not even thinking about the match (in the first half at least). All of them were watching every single one of JT’s moves closely, wondering what’s gonna happen to their wives/gfs… Therefore, England goes into WC2010 without their heads in their games, and end up losing all of their qualifying matches.

After that, JT would be labelled a national traitor and exiled to timbucktoo. Chelsea players and fans would go rioting on the streets and the whole of London gets burned down, together with the Emirates stadium, cesc fabregas and Arsene Wenger. Then it goes w/o saying that Man Utd will dominate English football for another couple of decades.

Note: I don’t consider Liverpool as a threat because they are still living in their history.

yf