Week of Santification

After spending 3 nights at expo last weekend, I have truly found my rest in the Lord and I feel so refreshed in the spirit!

My prayer to the Lord is to always be seeking His presence, not simply just His blessings. Pastor's message on the first night really hit the spot in my heart as I realise how selfish I have been all this while, often just seeking the blessings and forgetting the Giver. I wouldn't want to be a successful person in the eyes of the world but to end my time on this planet ashamed by my shallow understanding and relationship with the Lord. I've made my mind, to never want to miss out on God, and never fail to praise Him and thank Him all the time, because I want to acknowledge His presence in my life.

Over the weekend, the Lord spoke to me and asked me many questions. I have not been able to answer them all but it had made me realise that my security is in Him and I should never be serving Him out of my insecurities. I think one thing about serving in the ministry is that a person can get distracted so easily by the numbers and the scale of the activities planned, and then that's when our the vision that the Lord has blessed us with becomes a bit blur and we end up with the little battles within our spirit and struggle with jealousy and envy. God doesn't see us that way, He sees what's in our hearts. So I pray to Him that He will always keep me away from such distractions and insecurities and be reminded constantly that I am serving Him, and not just being involved in activities.

And I want to proclaim the healing of God in me! One thing that always happened in the past is that whenever the preacher opens the altar up for those who have been hurt in the past, I can't help it but be reminded of those times that I felt hurt by my parents and then feel so affected by it all over again. It felt to me then, that this pain would most probably never go away. But when pastor opened up the altar last Saturday, I was reminded of those incidents again and instead of feeling sorry for myself, I felt really loved. Not only by God himself but by my parents! God has opened my eyes and my heart to see that my parents do love me and recent events (not related to my family actually) have allowed me to see that, and I slowly realise that it must have hurt for my parents at times too. So that night, I went home and for my dad and laid hands on him too. And I felt the Holy Spirit doing a work of transformation in my family!

So for those who may be strugglign with family problems or past hurts, may my experiences with the Lord be a blessing and encouragement to you!