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How lovely are Your dwelling places,
O LORD of hosts!
My soul longed and even yearned for the courts of the LORD;
My heart and my flesh sing for joy to the living God.
Oh my! God feels the same way about me too!! And God feels the same way for you too! I have always failed in my attempts of finding love in this world, but I've also ignored the One who loves me the most at times. But no matter what we do, we can never change the love and affection that God has for us, and that alone simply moves me so much to make me return into His embrace.
O LORD of hosts!
My soul longed and even yearned for the courts of the LORD;
My heart and my flesh sing for joy to the living God.
-Psalm 84:1-2
'Lord, I don't wanna go home!'
There wasn't any particularly strong conviction for me when I went forward to the altar yesterday. I saw Ps Roland kneeling down and crying, and I thought that it ain't every Sunday that you see that happening, so I better not miss this strong visitation of the Holy Spirit.
I knelt down on my knees before the Lord, and tears rolled down my cheeks. Then, I started sobbing uncontrollably. It wasn't sorrow that I felt, it's simply, something that cannot be explained by the bounded human mind.
'God desires me!'
Deep inside me, and perhaps in some others too, there always has been this insecurity. It's in the deepest gallows and buried within the abyss of my soul. 'Can I ever find someone who loves me enough to want to be with me?' Sometimes, that notion surfaces and bugs me for the entire day. At other times, it would be so hidden that I'd not feel it.
The topic of BGR seems to be unavoidable these days and my past experiences with it (man, can I even call them experiences??) really make me just wanna run away from it all.
To know that there IS someone who desires to be with you, is ultimate bliss. You know, when a guy likes someone, he would spend all the time thinking about that girl, wondering if she is feeling the same way too. That feeling is soooo terrible!! I always get guilty when I can't shrug off those embarassing thoughts and I thought that God would never understand that feeling, because it just seems so worldly.
'How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God!
I knelt down on my knees before the Lord, and tears rolled down my cheeks. Then, I started sobbing uncontrollably. It wasn't sorrow that I felt, it's simply, something that cannot be explained by the bounded human mind.
'God desires me!'
Deep inside me, and perhaps in some others too, there always has been this insecurity. It's in the deepest gallows and buried within the abyss of my soul. 'Can I ever find someone who loves me enough to want to be with me?' Sometimes, that notion surfaces and bugs me for the entire day. At other times, it would be so hidden that I'd not feel it.
The topic of BGR seems to be unavoidable these days and my past experiences with it (man, can I even call them experiences??) really make me just wanna run away from it all.
To know that there IS someone who desires to be with you, is ultimate bliss. You know, when a guy likes someone, he would spend all the time thinking about that girl, wondering if she is feeling the same way too. That feeling is soooo terrible!! I always get guilty when I can't shrug off those embarassing thoughts and I thought that God would never understand that feeling, because it just seems so worldly.
'How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!
If I should count them, they would outnumber the sand...'
Ps 139:17-18
Oh my! God feels the same way about me too!! And God feels the same way for you too! I have always failed in my attempts of finding love in this world, but I've also ignored the One who loves me the most at times. But no matter what we do, we can never change the love and affection that God has for us, and that alone simply moves me so much to make me return into His embrace.
What can I say? What can I do?
But offer my heart o God,
Completely to You...
