the hardest thing in life...

i think the hardest things in life are to do what you really love and to say the things you really want to say. that's because there's a possibility that you may end up getting punished for doing either of them. and the damage left by it will most probably last and hurt for a very long time...

perhaps that's why sometimes it seems so much easier to try to feign ignorant to how you feel, and end up choosing something of less importance to chase after, as compared to what your heart truly desires.

and sometimes, when someone else, perhaps someone you know or even a close friend, manages to find what you were looking for but you failed to, you can't help feeling jealous, or perhaps angry. and when you realise that the jealousy and anger turns you into someone else, you can't help but become disgusted with yourself.

you become anxious about life, because you don't know how to face future disappointments; you don't know whether or not to give up your dreams; you don't know whether or not to give up any lingering hope left on life, because you don't know whether or not you can take the next blow which comes in the shape of another disappointment...

i think the bravest people don't simply stare fear in the eye... they push on despite knowing that somewhere along the road, they will fall so badly that it's gonna hurt so darn bad... the bravest people in this world are those who are able go on despite facing bitterness and jealousy, and still keep their hearts open to the ones around them.

that takes lotsa courage, because trying to close up always feel so much easier, even though i know it gets me nowhere...