in her shoes

inspired by 躺在你的衣柜 by 陈琦缜

There I was, in a boutique
Unblemished and spotless, without a flaw in sight.
The finest sequins I donned,
A vivid rouge I applied
Alongside the others, I hung.

A new lease of life, I awaited.
To myself, a gleeful grin, I mused
A home tonight, I might get to find.
And so, patiently, I awaited,
In a boutique, there was I.

There I was, looking for the ideal gift
For an occasion, special to both you and I.
Momentous to you, a turning of age
Peculiar to me, for reasons a vary.
'We' don't exist, I know already
Insist, I do, on a perfect parting gift.

In a boutique, I saw it, and pairs they were in.
How certainly apt they were,
My blessings I give you two.
Befittingly apt they were,
We conclusively part our separate ways.

There we were,
You, him, the pair of shoes and i.
Awkwardness found her way only to me,
Brave her I did, to give you this perfect parting gift,
Along with it, left a piece of my heart.

You would have never known,
How much I yearned for an 'us'
But then again I grasped,
It was your innocence that left me,
Smitten in the past.

Perhaps you two were so in love, I couldn't tell.
Perhaps you two were so in love, I didn't see.
Perhaps you two were so in love, I never knew.
Perhaps you two were so in love, I denied the possibility.
And now you two are so in love, I refuse to look.

But fret? Oh please, do not, For my blessings I have given.
Bitter I am not, but silly, maybe,
A script, for all those while, I had been following,
One so badly written, it could only have been by me.
A dialogue for two it was, but performed only by me.

Look back at it? Never shall I again.
Like a wound, touching only stings.
Resist I must, even though it itches.
A constant struggle it is, and to let go, I must learn...

Here I am, lying in your closet.
Fulfillment I've found, in this new lease of life.
It's your feet I protect, as we go places together.
Anything better? Ask I dare not.
Because in the closet, here am I.