Red Is The Colour forever!

To Arsenal:
You ain't gonna win anything with kids!! Unless you have won 9 premiership titles before!! You guys are noobs! We have better divers in Ronaldo, Rooney and Anderson than you have in Henry, Pires and Vieira!! Fabregas, his head is so big that Arsene, you better send him off to learn some humility in Sunderland. He's really better off as a street fighter. But seriously, thanks for humtumming van Nistelrooy, that horse was getting out of hand. And to you Reyes, hope that you are now nice and comfy in your momma's arms... And Arsene, I wanted to complement you for that special season you had a few years back, but I really have forgotten what you got... Is it the treble?? OH YA, it's that season which you didn't lose a single game and that nobody really cares about it now...

To Chelsea:
Phwoo! You guys sure have the best ways to get rid of awesome managers!! Now, nobody remembers Lampard's record number of starts, just like nobody remembers Arsenal going a whole season unbeaten. Abramovich is gonna run outta cash soon as he has an ex-wife to maintain and soon, he's gonna dump you guys and you are gonna end up playing Leeds and Coventry!! And to Ashley Cole, I'm so sorry you are having problems with your wife, but I understand where she's coming from, as Real Madrid will really pay you much better, well at least better than Arsenal... And to Essien, Mikel, Robben, Malouda and Ballack, you guys wouldn't have done yourselves any favour if you had chosen Man Utd, even Darren Fletcher would have kept you out... And John (Terry), how's ur rehab going? I bet you miss bashing up the referees with everyone behind you, but guess what, you are gonna have him all by yourself next season!! Ain't that awesome?

To Liverpool:
I admit it, you guys ARE the best in England. I mean, you guys have won so many titles and so many European cups!! And your fans are so awesome that they even managed to destroy a stadium. And, wait hold on... Oh guess what?? It's 2008 already!! And when did you last win the league title?? Rafa, your glasses really are awesome, what do you see through them?? Was it Michael Owen that you just saw scoring a goal?? You really do have a knack for making world-class players become S-league class players... Look at Sissoko, Babel, Kuyt and even Gerrard! Man, are you Kevin Keegan in disguise?? Hey Torres, Cristiano can do way much more than you can while his butt is on the floor, than when all four of your legs are on the pitch, yes, four!!

To Milan:
I really hope to be able to play you guys in Europe this season, cos I'm afraid that, looking at your league standings, we won't be able to do so for the next few seasons!! So Kaka, remember to bring your trophy cos Ronaldo's going kick the golden ball off that trophy and score a free kick with it that would make Pirlo jealous. And to Gattuso, Giggs would like to thank you for giving him the opportunity to get a new nose, it's awesome and he would like you to have it too! And Dida, how's your shoulder? I'm really sorry that that unruly fan caused you so much pain with his ultra shaolin-style tap on your shoulder... Are you feeling better already?? Oh, I almost forgot to ask about Ronaldo. How's he doing with his weight loss programme? I tried to warn Ancelotti about it but he just wouldn't believe it when I told him that the real Ronaldo is in Manchester...