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That time of the year is near... The diminuting festive mood over time doesn't seem to cover my ever-increasing distaste for this time of the every year...
Christmas carols broadcasted in malls and festive decor bring about a bittersweet sensation. They provide the most 'christmassy' feel to this time of the year and yet amplifies the sadness within me and magnifies the vaccuum inside my heart that is in the shape of a christmas tree...
I've always been one of the best spectators of Christmas. Celebrations are never truly experienced, or at least not the way they are in my dreams. They are only seen, smelled and heard, but never felt. Witnessing the scenes of families having laughing in joyous mood over their christmas dinners never fails to trigger a wince in every single cell of my body. Only the distance of a single nanometer separates me from my threshold of shedding a tear or two.
Like Oliver Twist who yearned for another portion of gruel, like a little boy who can only gaze at the toy train set that he can never afford through the display window, I yearn to truly celebrate Christmas.
PS: I'm just ranting off....
