my dreams keep me alive

i attended a piano recital with a long-lost friend last Monday and had lunch together after that. we were just talking on random stuff, which then led to the questions that applicants to SMU's accountancy were asked during their admission interviews. Among the questions, one was 'my 3 greatest lessons in life'.

So, we took turns listing out our greatest lessons in life.

To me, the greatest lesson I have learnt is that my dreams keep me alive.
the day before the recital, i performed with SWO. it was a great concert, i really thought so... And after not playing for a full concert for the past 4 years, I had this raw emotion in me that I couldn't put into words... It was a sense of excitement, a hunger for more...

I slept on it and woke up the next day remembering my dream, in which I was playing in a concert. Then, I found out what was it that kept me excited after the concert... It is the truth that I am happiest when I am performing, making music...

'But wasn't it all over the moment I couldn't get into the conservatory?'

'I'm already 22 this year. Too old, too lousy. There are younger ones out there who are much better!'

The fact is that I feel most at ease and most confident when I'm making music. I am certainly not the best, nor is it even what I am best at. But i think after so many attempts and failures, I think I can never completely give up on music, unless the day arrives when I no longer have anymore interest in it...

When I'm at home, practising my trumpet alone in my room or the piano downstairs, i forget all other troubles, all loneliness and all sadness...

My age and my standard of playing are certainly sources of discouragement. But I rather push myself to my limits than to betray myself, telling myself that I may be meant for other things. I would never ever want to work just for the sake of money...

I haven't had any concrete plans yet, but, watch this space...