Are relationships emotional trade-offs??

Have you ever had a friend or a group of friends whom you used to be very close to, and yet now you can't do much than waving hello or simply smiling at them?

I think it's normal for friendships to wane, but I guess what hurts the most is that you still get to see each other around perhaps once a week, yet the other party no longer seems interested in interacting anymore.

It really boils down to the question - what are our relationships based upon?? Surely it's more than simply common experiences. If one is truly serious about a regarding someone as a friend, surely that person would be interested in what's going on in the life of his/her friend, not??

I can't help but wonder if we make friends because we expect something good from them... Is it because we are simply seeking companionship? And when someone else better comes along, is it okay to discard this companionship for something that is fresh and more exciting? Are relationships simply a trade-off of emotions?

Consider this... It is your first day at the workplace, and you don't know anybody at all. And it's lunchtime already, you'll most probably be finding a person or group to hang out with for lunch, and it most will be the most attractive bunch you will decide to tag along with. That may seem natural for someone who is new, but have you ever wondered what are you actually yearning for when you do that? Acceptance and security would be the most probable answers. Thus, unknowingly, you become 'friends' with the popular group of people. In return, those 'friends' feel affirmed on the position of popularity when you decide to hang out with them. Ultimately, many relationships are formed upon someone's need for acceptance and security and the other one's need for affirmation of popularity.

The scariest thing about this is that this vicious process robs us of our self-identity, because we become more than willing to change ourselves to suit the perception of a friend by others. Has our desire for companionship deprived us of our very own identities?

You see, this was the very plight that I was trapped in, which ultimately drew me to God. In God, I can be who I am, the person that He wants me to be, and that alone is more important that being affirmed as a so-called friend by others.

People will always fail me and hurt me, God has never and will never. People change, God doesn't. Unlike our love, which often comes along with conditions, most commonly reciprocation of affection, God's love has no strings attached.

And so, I have come full circle. Because of God, I am secure in who I am, and I do not have to change myself to be accepted as a 'friend' by someone. God loves me for who I am, so do my parents, and my true friends...