Thu, 21 Jun after the red light

last night, i received some really bad news... got into some trouble, once again... but thankfully, my father covered up for me... sigh... i'm coming to 20 and i'm still getting into such stuff to break my parents' hearts... many things seem to be going wrong for me these days... you know, there's a song that really is meant for me now man!! 'why does it always rain on me' by travis... haw haw!!!


i was looking through those old photo albums... my parents seem to look happier last time... much much happier... i wonder if it's cos of me... perhaps they were pining all their hopes on their only child, and they were thinking that i am gonna have a bright future (a bright future in their eyes)... pa used to love bringing me out on car rides, for food hunting, and he was happy when i am around him... they used to tell me stories before i slept... of cos i am older now but i can't help feeling that it's totally diff now... pa never sits beside me, always leaving a seat btw us empty... he never talks to me now... he sighs while watching tv... i nvr figured out what can i do to make them proud of me... but i don't blame them... really, not at all... after all, i've been a disappointment to them... yet they still love me... thanks mom and dad!!